Prologue – This is who I am
I’d led a selfish existence.
I’d never hidden that fact.
Pussy was the name of the game. I wanted it without attachment or complication. Getting women was never a problem for me, but keeping them away after they’d had their first taste became harder over the years. I was a male slut and fucking proud of it. Every pussy was so spectacular in its uniqueness that I couldn’t imagine settling down and fucking the same woman every day.
Watching my siblings fall in love over the last couple of years didn’t soften my heart. They changed during that time, growing soft in my opinion. My brothers, whom I’ve always thought were tough, became a pile of pussy-whipped humanity in a short time. Their badassness went down a couple of notches in my mind.
It’s not women who ultimately change someone, but they affect the actions of the person they love. Why would I want to be different?
I liked who I was.
Fuck, I loved myself.
I wouldn’t apologize. I didn’t need to be changed.
Perfection’s pretty hard to top.
I steered clear of anything that resembled a relationship, including fucking a chick more than a couple of times. Relationships were for pussies or lonely-ass people who needed to feel complete. I wasn’t them—the weaker people in the world who craved their second half.
Relationships weren’t for me. I loved my time alone, and I wasn’t needy enough to require someone to constantly reaffirm how awesome I was. I just needed to look in the mirror, which was a hell of a lot cheaper. Why would I pay for a compliment, whether it was with dates or a fee of the heart, when women openly hurled catcalls in my direction?
Was I cocky? Quite simply, the answer is yes. I had every reason to be. Besides having a plethora of pussy offered to me on a silver platter, I was the complete package. I was handsome and wealthy and could fuck like for hours.
My days were spent tattooing clients at my family’s tattoo parlor, Inked. During my free time, I sang. I wasn’t a rock star by any means. It was a dream I had, one I’d been striving to make real since I was a kid. The years had slipped by and I’d fucked around too much. Now that I was older, I thought of it as more of a hobby and enduring passion than a personal goal.
The one thing that singing had given me was an unending stream of pussy. It was like a buffet every night. Women of all colors and sizes offered themselves to me. What man on the planet with a functioning cock would turn that down? Not me—I wasn’t stupid.
My upbringing was Italian Catholic. My parents didn’t practice their faith weekly, but it always lurked in the background. When I was a kid, my mother would say, “Don’t do that or you’ll go to Hell, Anthony.” We all learned to ignore her, and eventually, she dropped the self-righteous bullshit.
I had known I was superior since before I could talk; I liked that term more than “special.” Being the oldest male had its perks. The worry of many families is the name—would it be carried on? When I was born, the worry vanished. I thanked God every day for three brothers to take that stress off me. Without them, it would have been hopeless. Children weren’t in the cards for me. Unless they were the illegitimate type born from a night of passion. Daddy material I was not.
Was I a good person? I thought I was. My family meant everything to me. Family, pussy, and work were my top priorities—and in that order too.
Nothing else mattered.
Women came and went.
Everything and everyone around me changed, yet I tried to remain the same.
I sank my teeth into life, holding on to the bitch like my very life depended on it.
The one thing I’d learned was that, no matter how hard I tried to fight the inevitable, it would sneak up on me when least expected.
The second I let my guard down and released the hold I had on life… What was my award for such carelessness?
A love so spectacular and heart wrenching that it threw me for a loop. God had to be playing a wicked trick on me. I’d bet he was laughing his ass off the entire time it played out and sucked me in deeper every day.
When I was in too deep to escape, my greatest fears became reality.
This is my story.
And my love.